Friday, October 06, 2006

Am I Honest?

I take immense pride in calling myself honest. Till recently, for me honesty comprised only of- being truthful and never cheating during exams, minor or important. Now there’s something more to it. Honesty of thought. Honesty in action. Those are however not the issues I would like to deal with, now.
When I was quite young, during a minor class-test, I remember refusing to pen down an answer I already knew, because a friend next to me had spoken it out aloud. Most people would perhaps categorise this action of mine under juvenile-stupidity.. but I was proud of my honesty. Since childhood I have never once lied to gain something for myself, neither placated myself by some self-deceiving lies nor tried elevating my position by braggadocio. But a question that perturbs me no end is- how much of this drive for honesty is a part of my individuality? Perhaps this is a result of my upbringing, the immediate environment surrounding me and some ethics inculcated in me. Had I not been a well-cared-for daughter of a happy, economically unconstrained family, would I have been eligible to claim the ethical high-ground for myself as I am now doing? Had I hailed from an economically backward family, with the entire responsibility of the household to shoulder, would I have refused to take recourse to ‘unfair means’ during a crucial course-of-life determining exam? I have no answer to that. I have no answer to that riddle. Perhaps yes, perhaps no. and this brings me to the final question..am I really honest? Or is it just an effect of my surroundings on my mental constitution? After-all honesty, these days is nothing but a psychological imbalance.

2 comments:

Sayan Sarkar said...

honesty is never a psychological imbalance- a virtue is a virtue nonetheless. but thankfully someone is prudent enough to know that honesty is not synonymous with truthfulness.

Arnab Gupta said...

Something to think about...
But that brings us to those people who choose to be honest even though they are indeed economically constrained.

They are perhaps the only ones who can proudly call themselves honest.